Random Thoughts of a Girl in Nairobi

That falling in love feeling  The one that excites you and terrifies you at the same time  But you welcome both the excitement and terror because they’re thrilling and make you feel alive. The one that makes your heart go badadum-dum-dum  Is that even an actual rhythm?  Maybe you should see a doctor. The one that makes your mouth dry and your skin sweaty and drives your brain into over-drive  The one that makes you forget your own name. The one that keeps you up at night That drives you crazy  And you deny its existence for as long as humanly possible until the truth is too maddening to ignore. The one that makes you daring and adventurous  Helps you step out of your comfort zone  Leads you to do crazy things. The one that haunts you even after they’re gone  The one you have to let go of  The one that you miss. Yes, that’s the one I’m talking about.

I've decided to come out of the closet. And it's funny because I watched a video last year that had the same title but the message didn't really strike me until recently...when I was making a very small decision in my life. Now...hold on before your imagination runs wild. I'm talking about the closet that you might be automatically thinking about. I'm talking about Closet-Christians...get it? no? let me explain. I'm talking about the people who walk around terrified that their not-necessarily-born-again friends and colleagues would judge them if they found out that they were saved. I'm talking about the people who euphemise going to church on Sunday as 'being busy during the weekend'. I'm talking about the people who skip praying before lunch at school to avoid potentially awkward questions and possibly stares. And I promise I'm not judging you because I know what it feels like to be in your shoes...sometimes I still walk in them. It...

   I wanted to title this post as ‘voices in my head’ ( plural ) but that sounded a little weird in my head...but you can like vote on it or something. I should probably get serious now.    You know that God’s been working in your life when that little voice inside gets a little louder...and probably starts to speak more often than it did before. And I’m not sure how many Christians would actually admit it, but that voice starts to speak up at really inconvenient times. And I end up having these conversations with God ( sometimes out loud...sometimes in my head ). And I say stuff like ‘God I know that this is what you say in your word...and I should probably take the high road and do the right thing... but I really don’t want to! But I’m going to do what you say anyway’. I end up doing the right thing and obeying Him and completely giving up my reluctance, but it feels better to just be frank with Him about my feelings on the subject.     Maybe ...

   Human beings...we just can’t help but want to belong. Everywhere we go, every person we meet, we want them to like us. To be impressed by us. We find it easier to blend in than to go against the grain of things. Maybe because being an outsider is scary and not many people find themselves comfortable with that. So we end up doing a precarious balancing act between fitting-in and being true to ourselves. When does it stop? When does one finally have the strength to do the right thing and risk social shaming, instead of laying-low and watching wrong things happen?    Look at our politicians. Always changing opinions and partys depending on who’s in and who’s out. Giving up their principles somewhere along the way coz everyone else is doing it, and by the time elections roll round you as the voter have to re-acquaint yourself with whatever new thing they’re preaching this time round.    The other day my teenage brother asked me if it was important to ...

It took me 3 hours to get to school this morning. Mind you I don't live in Rongai or anything. I live in Parklands and a 30-minute journey ended-up being stretched to that. While I was waiting for Waiyaki way to stop being a nightmare, I found myself doing a lot of these things. So... 1. Switch off your engine and enjoy the scenery...      Unless it's raining in which case there is no scenery. 2. Watch your fellow traffic-jammers in the hope of witnessing some drama. 3. Have a karaoke session with the radio play-list. 4. Increase your flappy bird highscore!      For those of us who downloaded it before it was taken off the market. Now my score's up to 23! Yay! 5. Work on your tan!      Chances are it's hot and sunny and so this would be the perfect opportunity to do so whether or not you want    to. 6. Throw dirty looks at the drivers who are on the side of the road t...

   I can’t tell you that it’s all going to go away. That whatever situation you’re going through will be miraculously resolved by morning. I can’t promise you that if you pray hard enough that the tide will eventually turn in your favour. Let’s be honest people! Sometimes God says ‘No’. Just because you want something to happen that doesn’t mean that He wants it to. You know every time that you say the Lord’s Prayer and you reach that part for ‘Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven’; well that’s for real. Because God’s will may not always be the same as your will, and God’s will trumps your will on any given day, so yeah, His will will be done! But the beautiful thing is that His will keeps our well-being in mind. It works to build us up not to tear us down. Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  And sometimes the things that bui...

   Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing tonight. No deep relationship insights. No opinionated political rants. No food posts. Just a good old-fashioned blog-post to fill in this gap on my page. What can I say? It’s been over a month and people are starting to ask questions. My excuse? I was sorta kinda busy? I know it’s weak but bear with me. I went from doing exams, to planning a musical, to counselling at a week-long teens camp, to singing in a musical then finally, to visiting my grand-parents on the other side of the country ( And yes, the musical was a success ).  Then when all that was done and I finally got home I just chilled all the way through the New Year in the laziest way possible. I thought that by new-year’s eve I’d have some inspirational idea for a blog-post that would knock everyone’s socks off with its awesomeness, but I had nada. Not that I really tried. Like I said, I’ve been the epitome of lazy after December was over.    So as I w...