Random Thoughts of a Girl in Nairobi

   Looking back on the year that has been 2012.... I realize that it’s been a lot to take in. It was full of sunny happy moments but there were also moments when life sucker-punched me and people around me in the gut. There is no single word that can possibly sum up everything that went down. Life changing moments, epic disappointments, startling realizations. How can there be a single word for all those. Maybe not a word, but a number: 2012. That’s all it comes down to. The year that’s been. Thinking back to it, I can’t help but smile. Maybe it has something to do with the messed up wiring of my brain because regardless of how bad a situation is, I always find a way to see the good in it. I also tend to leave the bad stuff in the past and refuse to linger over it. Maybe ‘refuse’ is the wrong word here because it implies some sort of effort on my part but the truth is that it just happens. A survival instinct or something. So yes, I’m saying that I wouldn’t change a thing ev...

   Chapatti, chicken, flashing lights and gift-wrapped presents under a tree. All my life this has been how Christmas has been to me. And I’ve loved every year of it. You know that song that goes ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year’ for me, that’s a reality. Christmas is my favourite time of the year!! Always has been and always will be probably. And it’s not just about getting new stuff or spending a lot of money. I think I just love the warmth that comes with the season. Whether you’re at church, or with family or with friends; there’s just this bubbly lovey feeling that fills everyone up. So just in case you haven’t been told yet: Ciao!!!

    Labels, these things that we say about people to describe them in their entirety. Since childhood we’ve always done it. Taken one word and used it on an individual and then come to believe that that’s their identity. As if they have nothing more to offer the world except ‘Tom-boy’, ‘Skinny’, ‘Fat’, ‘Geek’. But the truth is that we’re all so much more. Human beings cannot be summed up in a single sentence let-alone word. Because we’re all so different and unique, shaped by the circumstances of our lives.    It’s like those sci-fi shows you watch where the characters discover an alternate universe with people exactly like them save a few mundane differences (Yes, I’ve just used a Fringe reference). That’s what we’re like. We’re all human but everyone’s life is like an alternate universe thus making it impossible to judge someone based on your myopic view of a few of their actions. Alternate universes And our lives are all different   ...

When I say art, I’m not referring to painting or drawing alone. I think that’s what we were taught was art in primary school. No, I’m referring to a bigger scope of things. Mainly including poetry and music since I personally can’t draw to save my life. It’s just interesting to see how people can express themselves in such creative and diverse ways until you realize that it’s not just about entertainment or passing time; but it’s about sending a message. In a very embellished way that makes it stick better. So all that said, I’m going to share a couple of things with you that I found particularly interesting and breath-taking in the category of 'Spoken word' because if I also start talking about music, I'll end up writing a pamphlet instead of a blog-post!! he he!! Spoken word So this is basically a form of poetry that isn’t just meant to be read, but needs to be performed for maximum effect. I think the days when every line of poetry had to rhyme are long gone an...

Pitter patter out my window Reminding me of sadness Reminding me of pain Pitter patter out my window Funny how you match my mood Shame it won’t do me much good Pitter patter out my window Tell me raindrop Does it hurt when you finally drop? Pitter patter out my window Steady as a heartbeat Reminding me of music Pitter patter out my window Giving life And making new Pitter patter out my window Washing away the day Cleansing me from my pain Pitter patter out my window Pitter patter out my window . . . . . . ...And a little something I found on you-tube. Took my breath away. Hope it does the same for you too.....

This has been my lesson and an ever-present theme in my life this year. I know that the usual conventional handed-down-from-our-grandmothers-phrase has been: ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. But I think this slight alteration serves the same purpose, and it’s also funnier J . The point is: Adapt. That’s how humans have survived in contrasting climatic regions all over the world from the Icy Tundra, to the scorching Sahara. Even in the ever-rainy bug-infested Amazon Jungle. People found a way to deal with what they had and made a life for themselves. For me this year has been jam-packed full of unexpected situations. From random practice sessions to cancelled and rescheduled tests and CATs and unforeseen let-downs from people. At first I’d get mad or even slightly depressed. But eventually I learned that it’s never that serious. It’s not fair to get yourself all worked-up about things that lie in your circle of no control!    There’s this phrase that say...

This isn’t a post where I’ll tell you who to vote for. I’m also not going to tell you which political party is the best. Anyone who watches and reads the news can judge that for themselves. We all know that voter registration is ongoing and that next year we’ll be having elections. We also know that around 75% of Kenya’s population is under the age of 30 years. 43% are 15 years and below. That leaves 32% of the population at age 16-30 years. Majority of who are eligible voters. Compare that 32% of young people to 21% of Kenyans between ages 30-65 ( Our parents?? ). I arrived at these figures by looking at the results of the 2009 census and data on the Ministry of youth affairs and sports website among other websites and then I did my math. So we can assume that at least 50% of eligible voters are young people. Yet sadly a number of these won’t vote. And they have the best excuses too! Like: Politics is boring . Ok so I’m assuming that if you have an ID and you probably weren’t re...

Every scar every wound we accumulate builds us and adds to us. This is going to sound really cliché but, once bitten twice shy. When you fall as a child that’s when you learn to run more carefully. When you fail an exam that’s when you learn to study more. When you get your heart broken that’s when you learn to never settle for anything less than what you truly deserve.    Imagine for a second a world in which we never made mistakes or got disappointed in some way. Unless this world was the perfect way that God had originally intended it would be a total and utter disaster. We would all be like children who never advance. Never learning, never discovering novel ways to do things. Always stuck in the same spot. Think about it. Thomas Edison failed like 10,000 times while making the light-bulb. In those mistakes he worked out what NOT to do and finally figured out how to do it right.    So eventually when you’re old and grey (God-willing) and you ...

1.  There is no such thing as passing!! At least not anymore. The best you can do is satisfy the examiner. 2.  50% isn’t as easy as it seems . Yep. That’s my pass mark. You wouldn’t believe how much one has to go through to get it!! 3.  Coffee-your new best-friend. Especially if you’re having exams. 4.  Live through each holiday as if you’ll die tomorrow . No seriously. If you want to have a good time and relax grab yourself a medic. Having a non-stop crazy schedule teaches you how to value the free time you have. 5.  There is no such thing as innocence , at least not any more. We’ve all cracked inappropriate jokes at one time or another!! Lecturers being in the front-line! 6.  Read read read, forget forget forget, read read read again!! Unless you’re one of those super-human med students who has a photographic memory! (But dude, were you abducted by aliens or something??!! O.O) 7.   Humility. You think you’re all that??!! W...

There will come a day when you will pick yourself up dust yourself off and move on There will come a day when you'll wipe your tears away wipe your past away and smile again There will come a day when every sad song won't be your sad song and you won't dwell on everything that was wrong There will come a day when you'll stop pining for one who's not worth a dime let alone your time There will come a day when you'll learn to forgive and be able again to give to those around you There will come a day when you'll hold your head up high past your inadequacies and all your short-comings There will come a day when you will grow up and live up to all you are meant to be But until that day comes You best believe that there will come a day

Do our mistakes define us or do we define our mistakes??? I’ve just read a story about a girl called Amanda Todd(google pap!!)  who was bullied because of something she did when she was 12 years old. In a nutshell, she indecently exposed herself on the internet and a picture of her while exposed was sent to her family, friends and school-mates. She tried to move on but the bullying got so bad that she eventually committed suicide. You can read her story here . But my question remains. Is it that when you mess-up in some way, that becomes your permanent label in life? Do you become ‘that’ girl or guy that did ABC?? Or do you simply acknowledge your short-comings, learn from them and then avoid them like the plague.    On one hand it’s so easy to fall into a cycle of self-loathing and retribution over something you did wrong. Constantly blaming yourself and spending sleepless nights thinking about things that you cannot possibly change!! And for what?? You just waste ...

    Human beings are excessively vain creatures. We believe that we have a right to anything and everything and that the world revolves around us. And when we don’t get what we want, we sometimes end-up behaving like 3-year olds - throwing tantrums and the like! Don’t believe me? Well: Random question number 1: Remember the last time someone stepped on your foot? What did you do? Did you look at them badly? Or did you shout some instinctive profanity? Did you humbly mutter that it was okay while damning then in your mind (even if it was for just a milli-second)? Random question number 2: The last time your lecturer announced that you had a CAT/exam you didn’t even know existed! Did you tell everyone around you just how unfair it was? Did you instantly get into a depressive studious mood? Was your day ruined by that one thing in your circle of no-control? Need I go on??      So now you think that I’m just being impractical. So I...

   A couple of weeks ago some of my facebook friends started copy-pasting a  status update about some movie that apparently portrays Jesus as a homosexual and so the status urges the reader not to watch the movie and to re-post the status so that people would get to know. The update goes something like this: “ I know you may love watching movies but for Christ sake, don't get tempted. The movie Corpus Christi is due to be released this June to August. This disgusting film is set to appear in America later this year and it depicts Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals! As a play, this has already been in theatres for a while. It's called Corpus Christi ' which means 'The Christ Body.' It's a revolting mockery of our Lord. But, we can make a difference. That's why I am sending this e-mail to you. If you do send this around, we may be able to prevent this film from showing in AFRICA. Apparently, some regions in Europe have already banned the film. We nee...

   I have had an amazingly restful week all thanks to the recent lecturer’s strike. Yes, I won’t lie. I was extremely overjoyed at the prospect of having a random unplanned holiday in the middle of the school year. I guess as a medic (Yes, I’m in med school) I embrace any down-time I can get with open arms J . Although at some point my conscience took over and convinced me to do some studying, it was a pretty well spent week. And the best part was that I managed to catch-up with 2 of my high school besties.    For purposes of this blog I’ll call them LN and BW. So after almost 3 years after we’d cleared high school, we managed to all get together. The three of us, at the same time!! Don’t get me wrong, we’ve kept in touch over the years. Texting, facebook, skype...he he! I even at random points managed to meet up with either of them aver that time period but never all three of us together!! Mostly because we attend three different universities but oh well!! And I...

   Bloggers and writers the world over may have different answers to this question (And I believe that this applies to writers too). But in my opinion it’s ‘Baring your thoughts and opinions to this bevy of people who can either like it or hate it’. And trust me, people can be very critical!! Just look at any random movie review and you’ll see what I mean. For example some of you may have watched ‘The Avengers’ or ‘The Dark knight rises’ and thought that they were the best movies made this year (Yes, I confess that those are my favourite 2012 movies so far.... :-) ) but somewhere..out there..... there’ll be someone who thinks that they are total crap!       Hence the reason why I don’t rely on book, movie or music critics so that I can judge whether something is worth my time/money. I like to form my own opinions because in the 2 decades I’ve spent on this planet I’ve learnt that criticism is simply opinion. And opinion can be heavily biased ...

I am admittedly someone who thinks a lot!!! I could be sitting in a bus with earphones on but be a million miles away at the same time. So that's why I write. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and gain a better perspective about things. I developed this habit in high school after reading  ' The 7 habits of highly effective teens ' by Sean Covey and consequentially began keeping a journal. So recently while randomly going through my computer I stumbled upon this piece I had written. A close pal of mine was going through some issues in her life and as usual to organize my thoughts on the whole subject and the conversation we'd had, I wrote. So now I think I'll share it with you... Frustration... That’s the only word that can describe this feeling. I miss you but I can’t tell you. You wormed your way into my heart and became the rare friend I could feel comfortable with at any time. The person I could tell anything without editing a single word. I felt i...

   I am officially my own worst enemy. You live a life where you achieve so many amazing things; but the moment that you make a tiny little mistake or fail in some way, there’s this tiny little voice inside (Ok, not so little. It’s usually pretty darn loud!!) bringing up all your inadequacies and telling you how you’re such a failure.    Maybe it’s our own weak human condition that makes it easier to believe that we can be failures more than we can be successful. Or maybe it’s the devil trying to bring us down. It’s the same thing when we’re so afraid of taking chances in life like moving to a new city or falling in love. And the worst thing is that we believe it so so easily. It’s something that we readily accept.    And here’s the funny part: We let it! We indulge in these thoughts and let them take root. We lie to ourselves and so eagerly believe in the lie that we later accept it as truth. And I think that’s the worst kind of lie; the one you tell...

I just thought it would be nice to rant and rave a bit about the things that can drive any Nairobian totally insane. I don’t know if this is true for people living in other Kenyan towns and cities but feel free to let me know: ·          Matatu prices that quadruple when it’s raining . Wait did I say raining?? I meant to say ‘when the sky gets cloudy and attempts to release a few drops of water upon the general population’. One word: Pandemonium!! Suddenly everyone’s pushing and shoving into PSVs like their live depend on it. And even worse for you if you live in one of the more distant parts of the city like Rongai or Kitengela. ·          The twin sister of situation number 1: Endless traffic jams when it’s rainy . I talking about meaningless never-ending stall-ups all because a few people couldn’t keep a few traffic laws!!! ·          Rampaging ...

    So Cinderella met the prince and they danced all night long, fell in love and the very next day they got married and lived happily ever after. The end. This is the story we’ve heard all our lives. Boys and girls alike although due to the existence of soap operas the ladies might have had a considerably greater exposure to this idea. What idea you may ask? That one day Mr/Miss Right a.k.a ‘The one’ will suddenly appear at your doorstep and sweep you completely off your feet. This person will be unlike every other ex you’ve ever had and they’ll treat you exactly how you DESERVE to be treated. Emphasis on the word ‘deserve’. But have you ever asked yourself whether you deserve this magically wonderful person who is apparently perfect in every way imaginable? The question I’m asking is would you date you?         We always have this ideology in our minds of how the person we end up with should be but we seldom ever ask ourselves whether we ar...

This Poem is in honour of Paula Kasinga. Everytime I see the colour purple I'll remember you and how you touched all our lives. RIP.... Remember M Remember E Put them together And remember ME Remember warm hugs shared under the sun Remember the early morning run Every moment together Will surely last forever Remember the times Remember this rhyme May it always make you smile And be worth every single dime Remember hotdog Remember cake Every meal shared with you Everything I wouldn’t want to loose Remember tears Remember fears Stuff we went through together Stuff that made us better Remember bitter Remember sweet That feeling when you were away That made me look a bit frayed Remember friendship Remember love And the ONE above Who gifted you to me Remember you Remember me Remember to go on Even if to you I no longer hold on

I woke up this morning and had an epiphany Things aren’t always as they seem Sometimes we gaze through rose-coloured glasses Imagining things in the shadows I woke up this morning and had an epiphany People wear masks Different colours, different styles A desperate attempt to hide what they really are Blurring the line between friend and foe I woke up this morning and had an epiphany So different we are, you and me Though I hadn’t seen it before I beg your pardon coz I mistook us for two peas in a pod I woke up this morning and had an epiphany We spend so much of our lives working for achievements Money, fame, glory But the happiness brought on by the presence of loved ones around us in one minute Is incomparable to 4 years worth of school/office work I woke up this morning and had an epiphany That the world isn’t always sunshine and butterflies Sometimes you’ve gotta bite the bullet But the sunshine sure feels warm on your skin I...

Sunshine Beautiful, warm ever-present sunshine It was all around me Almost blinding me Suddenly Clouds Dark and threatening Angry and roiling Bringing a rain so cold I couldn’t feel my bones A wind so strong like I’d never known Darkness Empty gnawing darkness Binding me Destroying all sense of direction Full of terrors I wouldn’t want to mention Hole A deep dark hole in the ground Full of desperation that bound Leaving me with nothing to grope for Sadness Enveloping me Consuming me On death’s doorstep leaving me Without an escape   Petals White perfectly-formed petals A single rose Showing its defiance It’s refusal to die in that terrible place Realization If it could make it then why couldn’t I That there must be one who cares for this fragile flower Maybe care for me too A higher power Golden The colour of the shaft of light Lighting the path of my climb Leading me where I could survi...