The hardest thing I’ve ever done

   I am a control freak. There I said it. But only because it’s true. You remember those old movies where the bad guy’s evil henchmen repeatedly failed to beat the good guy. Then the bad guy would get upset and probably say something like ‘You can’t send a boy to do a man’s job’; he would then proceed to do the job himself (not that he succeeded). I’m that kind of person. Sometimes I’d rather do something myself because I trust myself, I have confidence in my competence and quite frankly, others have already failed at it. This is why last year I found myself facing the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

   I had to re-sit my end-year exams. Passing meant that I’d move on to 3^rd year. Failing meant that I’d repeat 2^nd year. Imagine telling your parents that they’d have to pay an extra year’s worth of university fees (Not pretty). And even if I chose to change courses and kick medicine to the curb, I had no idea where to start or what I could change to. Obviously this was a very stressful time for me. And you might ask what the hardest thing was because it wasn’t having to read for those papers again.

   The hardest thing was getting on my knees and telling God that I trusted Him. I’m not talking about lip-service here. I mean with my whole heart and mind, coming to that one decision that I’d leave it all to him. Choosing to believe that part of the Lord’s Prayer that says ‘Thy will be done’. Yes that was the hardest thing. It took me days and weeks and I wasn’t even sure he’d come through! No I hoped He would and I had faith in Him. And you know what the bible says about faith, the conviction of things unseen [Hebrews 11:1] (Well, considering that I hadn’t even sat for the papers yet, that success was very much unseen). But once I did this, I started remembering verses like Jeremiah 33:11 –

For I know the plans I have for you ,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)

And suddenly a load was lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t worry that much anymore and I could focus on my reading. Like good riddance to that stress. And yes, in case you’re wondering, He did come through for me.

Ciao...