Dear Future Husband

   This is not what you think it is. Or maybe it’s exactly what you think it is. I suppose that depends on what you’re thinking. But seriously. It seems like writing a ‘dear future husband’ letter is the new milestone for all female bloggers and micro-bloggers (the people on tumblr etc) under the age of 30. Talk about peer pressure! But I have firmly refused to fall into this trend because I'm a rebel with a number of causes under my belt. Maybe I’ll wait until the trend dies out. I like doing things that nobody else is currently doing. Like reading books like ‘The fault in our stars’ before they become super popular and they are my own personal best kept secret. Call me Miss Independent.  I think I'm digressing.

   So anyway, most of these letters and posts are series of demands about what these women are expecting from their potential better halves. Or whatever Hollywood-inspired fairytale they may be thinking about. Rarely do you find one where the writer herself is also talking about what her husband should expect from her. I'm all for gender-equality but come on! A relationship is a two-way street. You give as much as you take and you might not necessarily get exactly what you want. It’s that little marriage-clause called ‘compromise’.  We need to give the guys a break from unrealistic expectations.

   And the sooner we embrace a more holistic view of marriage and relationships the better. It’s not always about you. It’s about selflessness and putting the other person first. Sound hard? It is! If it was easy then everyone would be doing it, and doing it successfully. Don’t get me wrong. You shouldn't slave away at a dysfunctional relationship in the name of love. That’s ridiculous. You deserve way better. But just realize that as you list all the things you expect to get, you should also list all the things you will give in equal measure. That’s all. No pressure.

Phillipians 2:3



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