The art of zoning out


Step 1 - Find a suitably boring subject.
One that you really should be paying attention to but won’t. That lecturer who drones on in a barely audible monotone will do just fine. Or maybe that person who's constantly nagging you to do one thing or the other.

Step 2 - Find a topic in your brain's archive that is far more interesting.
You could re-live that movie you watched last night or daydream about your crush or have deep philosophical arguments with yourself over the state of the universe. It really won’t be that hard. It’s almost as if our minds have been programmed to do exactly this as a survival mechanism for our sanity.
                                  
Step 3 - Wear your screen-saver face.
While zoning-out you are officially on autopilot. Therefore you need to have this 'interested' expression on your face so that you don't alert the cause of your boredom to the fact that you’re not 100% with them. It would also help to throw in a nod or two at random points to help strengthen the authenticity of this charade.

Step 4 - Multi-task.
This is a skill that can only be honed by years and years of practice. You must be able to assign a portion of your brain to keep track of the lecture or conversation just in case the other person decides to ask a question and expects you to answer. This prevents highly embarrassing and awkward moments. If you are able to do this, then you my friend are truly ninja!

Step 5 - Honestly and pearly whites.
If you are unable to master the skill mentioned in step 4, chances are that you'll get caught at some point and the whole thing will blow up in your face! I hear that honesty is the best policy so now would probably be a good time to admit your guilt and sneak in an apology and sheepish smile. If you’re lucky, the other person will forgive you, brush it off and give a re-cap of what they just said. If you're not so lucky, they'll catch feelings and start talking about how they've caught feelings and you'll end up going back to step 1 to begin the whole process again!

Ciao and good luck!

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